I went to school a long time. A long, long time to be exact. I had hoped when I graduated from
kindergarten that I was finished with school.
As I have mentioned before, perhaps often, I hated school. I would have happily been done after
kindergarten, but alas, the state and my parents said no. What that means in the short story version is
that I had to have nightmares for many years.
They started young and kept on going well into graduate school. It was the last day of the year and I
couldn’t find my classroom. I didn’t
know the assignment. I wasn’t ready for
the test! I would fail!
To finish my master’s and doctorate degrees I decided to
take them by extension. There were no
classrooms to find. The nightmares
stopped. The test taking didn’t stop,
but the nightmares did. Fortunately
there were a lot more papers to write, though, and fewer tests to take. I like to write. It’s easy-peasy for me to take a class requiring
writing. Test anxiety is a real problem
for many people. As a school teacher I
tried to be alert to those who visibly suffered from the disorder and give them
alternatives to the test.
But life is full of tests. They are certainly a different kind of test
than the kind that requires someone to know the Plantagenet kings in
order. Tests do exist, however, in all
manner of ways in life. Our patience can
be tried by children, employees or bosses, the long lines at the store or bad
drivers. Our endurance can be tested by
our sergeants, our trainers, our employers and others. Our honesty can be tested by the absolutely
unclear directions on tax forms. We may
end up breaking under the strain of some of these tests and responding
incorrectly to the demands placed upon us.
There is one kind of test that really is, however, good
for us. It is the testing of our
faith. The testing of our faith works
patience and peace in our lives. It
doesn’t always work those things at that particular time, but it will pay off
later. As we go along in life and find
new and different tests to confront our lives, the patience and peace learned
in the past will sustain us in the floods to come and all the tests that
confront us each day. Ambrose wrote this
hymn of exultant faith 1600 years ago.
It is still true today.
’Twas thus the yearning faith of saints, the unconquered
hope that never faints,
The love of Christ that knows not shame, the prince of
this world overcame.
In these the Father’s glory shone; in these the will of
God the Son;
In these exults the Holy Ghost; through these rejoice
the heavenly host.
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